May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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