it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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