it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize