she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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