btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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