i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
