Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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