I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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