Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
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