Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
