TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize