I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Watching her eat just hurts me
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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