Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
