Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Slut skills are useful in every country.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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