i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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