After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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