I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
40s are totally the cure
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
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