Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize