normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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