Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
