Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
