he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
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