don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
