"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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