I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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