The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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