Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
