weddingsv make me drug and hornr
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
