KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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