God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
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There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
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I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.