My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
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You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
and you fell through a lawn chair
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah