when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...