What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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