She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
