I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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