I'm lost and stupid without you.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Pants are for mortals
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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