I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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