***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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