I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
