Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
