dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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