D3 body, D1 cock
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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