if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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