She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?