I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place