She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i barfeds in our rink
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.