I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
my being single is dangerous.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type