It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
