This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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