Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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