This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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