She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize