Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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