I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
