I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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