we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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