My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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