Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize